If The Walls Had Ears
by dave-d
Summary: Just another page from the daily story of Kaname Chidori and Sousuke Sagara. Why is Kaname so angry?
1. Chapter 1

_Excerpts from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, and The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language:_

**Eavesdropping** is the intercepting of conversations by unintended recipients. One who participates in eavesdropping… someone who secretly listens in on the conversations of others… is called an eavesdropper. The origin of the term comes from situations in which people would literally hide out in the **eavesdrop** of a house to listen in on private conversations.

It is also something of a clichéd plot device in fiction, allowing a hero or villain to gain vital information by deliberately or accidentally overhearing a conversation. In this story, however, it is yet another way for a certain blue-haired girl to get the wrong impression about a clueless scar-faced boy, prompting her to show him her displeasure in a rather clichéd physical manner.

**Eavesdrop (or evesdrop) **: the place where water falls from the eaves, thought to be taken from Old English _yfes drype._

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It was almost time for the next class.

The clock on the wall gave mute testimony to that fact. So did Kaname's watch. And, if hers told the correct time, that missing military misfit's would as well.

He had insisted that they synchronize their timepieces that morning, for some inscrutable reason she that did not want to hear. Honestly. By now that moron should know that she did not want to see, hear, smell, feel, taste, or touch anything remotely military, otaku, or sagaratic. 'Sagaratic'? That wasn't a word; but, it _should_ be! Synonyms would include crazy, idiotic, clueless, exasperating, uncaring, and inconsiderate.

Less than a minute later she checked the time again. It wasn't as if she missed him or anything! And, if he had gone off secretly on some mission without telling her, that wouldn't be a problem, _right? _She was just acting like a responsible student council Vice President and Class Representative. Left to his own devices for too long, a certain Mithril Sergeant had a tendency to get into trouble. And, trouble in Sousuke-terms often meant big mess, big cost, or both.

"Where _is _that big idiot?" Kaname made a face, speaking out loud in a huffy tone of voice. Kyouko…who often seemed to be at just the right place at the right time… and just as often the right place at the wrong time, or vice versa… had said that she saw Sousuke headed in the direction of the Gymnasium. "I shouldn't have to waste my time looking for him." If he was instructing the boys in unauthorized Counter-Terrorism techniques again, she would she would show _him_ Counter-Terrorism. And then some!

"Hey, Kaname." It was Maya. No doubt she was waiting for Ryo before heading off to the classroom. "Looking for Sousuke?" The girl didn't need to be a detective to interpret the look on her blue-haired friend's face. "You two have a lover's quarrel?"

"What?" Kaname looked as if she had run smack dab into the side of an ECS-masked A.S. hand, much the way a truck once had, the day that Sousuke had thrown her to the ground after she had run out into the street with a forgotten briefcase. "We can't have a lover's quarrel if we're not lovers!" Her face was a sight to see. "And we can't be lovers if he's not my boyfriend." Her eyes flashed. She stood with her hands on her hips, legs apart, halisen clutched extra tight. "I mean, who would want a scruffy, brainless, uncaring, military-obsessed whack job as a boyfriend?"

"Nobody _we_ know," Ryo said with a lop-sided grin, having walked in on the tale end of the conversation. She laughed when Maya rolled her eyes.

"Geeez." Kaname glowered at her two friends as they headed off. "They're almost as bad as Kyouko." Now, feeling even _more_ agitated, she stomped off towards the far end of the building. Passing by one of the doors into the Girl's Shower, she slid to a halt. What? What had she heard? Had that been Sousuke's voice? No, it couldn't be. He had no business in _there. _Wishful thinking over-ruled common sense. 'Sousuke Sagara' and 'No business' went together like koi and water.

"I'm glad you agreed to come here with me." That was Ms. Bakudan speaking. A temporary teacher in her early 20s, she had taken over the gym class while Mr. Kogure was convalescing. She had the face of angel… the legs of a dancer… and the body of a porn star. Needless to say, when she was in shorts and a T-shirt, the boys paid little attention to calisthenics and intramural sports. Large numbers had ended up in the Nurse's office with minor injuries, with even greater frequency than from Sousuke's legendary escapades.

"It is _not_ a problem." There was no mistaking that voice.

"Wh-… Wh-… _What?" _Kaname was shocked at first. That _had_ been Sousuke's voice. But, what would that mutton-headed military miscreant be doing in the Girl's Shower? Then, without warning, the shock changed from shock to rage. What was Sousuke Sagara doing in the Girl's Shower with Ms. Bakudan!

"I wanted someone strong," the teacher said. "Someone I knew wouldn't quit before _I _was finished." Not only was she beautiful beyond belief, but she also had a voice like a musical instrument. But, Kaname didn't have time to be envious of that trait. She was too busy doing the new math, which clearly stated that Sousuke plus sexy teacher equaled dead man.

"It is not something that I am experienced with." Sousuke sounded tentative, more hesitant than Kaname was used to. Just what was the big jerk talking about? It wouldn't take a genius to figure out where the Whispered girl's thoughts were headed.

"No. Not Sousuke. Not in a place like this." Kaname shook her head. "Not with _her." _Unaware of her feelings at first, she took a step closer to the door, holding her breath, throat dry. She was truly worried. Then, again, right on schedule, her temper took hold again. "Just wait until I get him alone!" Imprints from her fingernails dotted the paper fan. She tried to get herself to calm down. She needed to be realistic. Sousuke was as clueless about women as he was about _anything_ outside of combat. Then again, being clueless might simply mean he was vulnerable to the wiles of an older woman!

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. Not many boys your age are experienced at this kind of thing," Ms. Bakudan said kindly. "That's why we won't rush this." That had Kaname feeling a chill pass over her spine. She put her ear to the door, fighting the urge to rush in, catch the two in some illicit act, and kick that idiot out of her life once and for all.

"Understood," Sousuke replied. "I still find myself uncomfortable, however. In battle, the courage of a soldier is heightened by the knowledge of his profession. And, making no mistakes is what establishes the certainty of success." There was a pause. In the brief silence, Kaname could hear her heartbeat loud in her ears. "But… it is also true… victory belongs to the most persevering." That big stupid head was talking otaku to some other girl? No. That didn't matter. He shouldn't be talking that way at all!

"You're wise for your years," the teacher said. "Take it easy. We don't want to damage anything. There's not a lot of room for both of us here." She paused. "But… from what I understand… that probably won't bother you. I hear that you've been through some very tough times in your life."

"Th-… Th-… That…." Kaname saw red. There could be little doubt what was going on behind that door. But, why should _she_ care? She was only there to catch a teacher in a forbidden act, and to gather enough proof to have Mithril send that stupid uncaring loser back to where he belonged. There was absolutely _no_ reason to take things personally.

"Affirmative," Sousuke said. "There is a grave marker on Guadalcanal, belonging to an American Marine. It read 'And When He Gets To Heaven, To Saint Peter He Will Tell; One More Marine Reporting Sir, I've Served My Time In Hell.' I believe that something like that would serve _me _as well." As far as Kaname was concerned, he had not served enough time there. It didn't matter, though. She wasn't angry. No, she _was_ angry. Furious. She wasn't hurt. No. Not one bit!

"Really?" Ms. Badukan's rich laughter rang out. "I didn't think Ms. Chidori was _that _bad!" Her remark had Kaname growling, joke or no joke. "Mmm, let's see. Everything's exposed as it should be. One half inch is all we'll need, but it looks like we have a good bit more than that to work with."

"…" Kaname's mouth fell open. That brazen tramp! She found herself trembling. Suddenly, her instinct was to turn and run, rather than to kick down the door and confront the sweaty couple. She stood firm. It didn't matter what Sousuke did. It… did… not… matter… at… _all._

"The position appears correct," Sousuke said. "Is there anything else I should do before putting this in place?"

"We won't know for sure until things get wet," the teacher stated. "First things first. We can't forget this. It's made out of rubber, so it should go on easily. We would be in trouble without _that." _The remark had Kaname pushing on the door slightly, ready to run in and break things up. Of all the things that idiot had done, this was by far the worst. How could he break her trust in him? For some… some… some _bimbo!_

"Mission accomplished," Sousuke said. "It's on. Look here, this seems hard enough for us to proceed. Which way should I screw this…."

"**B-A-K-A-!" **Kaname kicked in the door, slamming it so hard against the tiled wall that caulking rained down and the metal hinges bent at impossible angles. "Baka… _baka_… **_baka_**…." She practically flew into a room, with missile-lock on the boy in front of her. Eyes blazing, tears running down her face, and heart feeling as if it was about to shrivel up like a dried plum, she was in no state of mind to notice that both Sousuke and the teacher were fully clothed… that wrenches, pliers, and other tools covered the floor at their feel… that a fresh coat of spackling covered a hole in the wall surrounding a newly replaced pipe… and that a shiny and gasketed shower head sat in the hand of her intended target.

"Kaname… what…." Sousuke had no time to speak before Kaname rammed a knee into his groin, slammed an elbow into his mid-section, and then began swatting him mercilessly with her halisen.

"I hate you!" Kaname was oblivious to Ms. Bakudan, who was valiantly attempting to restrain her. "I hate you… I _hate _you… I **_hate_** you…."

"What is going on here?" As chance would have it, Principal Tsuboi had been walking past just as Kaname's rising voice had reached a crescendo. She looked in past the poorly hung door, taking in a scene of utter chaos. Same old song, just a new verse.

"It appears that Miss Chidori is upset with me," Sousuke said, his hair mussed and his cheek swollen. "Perhaps it is justified. I was busy aiding Ms. Bakudan, and would have been late to class again." He looked up at Kaname, globs of white gooey material sliding off of his head from where the angry girl had slammed the open jar of spackling compound. "I apologize for not informing you first, Kaname."

The two older women looked at one another with a sense of disbelief. The young man, as brutalized as he was, spoke as if the situation was totally understandable, if not entirely warranted. What's more, his tone of voice made it sound as if this was nothing out of the ordinary.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am," Kaname said, bowing to the Principal a few minutes later, after the mess was cleaned up and the shower head had been screwed into place. "I'm very sorry," she bowed to Ms. Bakudan as well. After a few moments of heated internal debate, she turned to face Sousuke and apologized a third time in the same fashion.

"I _should_ have you stay after school for detention," Mrs. Tsuboi said. "With Mr. Oonuki home sick, there are a good number of custodial duties that need to be done." She tapped a finger against her cheek and sighed. "But… I will let you off this time… _if_ you promise to treat Mr. Sagara better."

"Yes, I will." Kaname bowed again. "I promise, Ma'am." She even managed to give Sousuke a quick smile, if only to show Ms. Bakudan a thing or two. "Thank you."

"If you're not too sore tomorrow," the pretty substitute said to Sousuke. "There are a number of things that I could use help with. Two of the girl's basketball nets need restringing. Free weights are scattered all over the facilities. Some of the gymnastics equipment is dangerously out of alignment."

"Madame Principal?" Sousuke looked over at the school official.

"Come on Sousuke!" Kaname yanked so hard on the young soldier's arm that she almost dislocated his shoulder. "We have class!" She practically dragged the stumbling boy behind her.

"The more things change…." Ms. Bakudan offered, shaking her head in disbelief, watching as the two teenagers disappeared from view..

"The more they stay the same." Mrs. Tsuboi dabbed at her forehead with a handkerchief.

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**END**


	2. Bonus Epilogue

_More excerpts from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:_

**Voyeurism** is a practice in which an individual derives sexual pleasure from observing other people. Such people may be engaged in sexual acts, or be nude or in underwear, or dressed in whatever other way the "voyeur" finds appealing. The word derives from French verb voir (to see) with the -eur suffix that translates as -er in English. A literal translation would then be 'seer' or 'observer', with pejorative connotations.

**Ecouterism** is a variant of voyeurism that involves listening rather than seeing.

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The lanky blonde smiled as he placed an ear against the door.

He was no stranger to Japan, having been born and schooled there while his father was serving as a special correspondent for a German newspaper.

At that moment, he had no desire to think about his past, either about his subsequent education in the Fatherland, his prior relationship with a severely ill woman who had left him for her doctor, the time he had spent as a model for TAG magazine, or his heading to Lebanon to become a mercenary, intent on avenging his father's death at the hands of terrorists.

But, as coincidence would have it, he _did_ think back to his time in the Middle East. After having discovered that he was a remarkable shot with a sniper rifle, he had become an excellent soldier. In fact, the only other fighter as deadly as him had been on the other side. Listening intently, he wanted to see if that same young man could become his equal with women as well.

"Come on, Sousuke. You can do it!" Kurz Weber, call sign Uruz-6 and his ID number B-3128, rubbed his hands together. He hadn't heard any voices, but there had been the unmistakable sounds of foreplay. It seemed that his hearing was every bit as good as his eyesight. "Do Sis and me proud." While he still hadn't managed to get 2nd Lieutenant Melissa Mao into the sack, there had been no lack of bedmates when he had time and opportunity. Up until now, it had been amusing to watch Sousuke Sagara and Kaname Chidori orbit around each other like two planets destined to collide. But, enough was enough. It was about time that _they_ did the nasty!

Every so often, he caught wind of someone approaching. That led the resourceful Sgt. Major to take various steps to cover his true intentions. When an old woman walked by, barely able to push her walker and carry a bag of groceries at the same time, he told her he was the new building maintenance man, and helped her to her apartment. When he was nearly caught off guard by a drunken man in a fancy business suit, he quickly began tapping at various points on the wall, claiming to be listening for rats. When a pair of pretty high schoolgirls came walking down the corridor, long-strap purses swinging from their shapely shoulders, he affected a French accent, saying he was lost.

"I hope I didn't miss the good part!" Alone again, Kurz put his ear back on the cold wooden door. The door might be cold, but it certainly sounded like things were heating up inside. "Melissa is going to be _so_ jealous that she missed this." He truly believed that, even though it should be quite obvious that she would have grabbed him by the ear, dragged him away, and beaten him to within an inch of his life, had she happened upon him at that very moment.

Bit by bit, the romantic encounter within the room grew more intense. Moaning. Groaning. Gasps. Nonverbal pleas of every conceivable type. Face frozen in a perpetual grin, Kurz did more than just listen avidly. A marksman so proficient with sniper rifles and Arm Slave long range precision cannons, it was said that he can visualize the trajectory of a bullet exactly, resulting in an almost inhuman accuracy. A self-confessed womanizer, he could also picture everything that was happening on the living room couch. And, just as he was known to burden the Mithril mechanics with extremely complaints and requests, he now whispered things that he wanted Sousuke to do. This was better than the Adult-only pay-for-view channels he watched on shore leaves!

"That's it… you can do it… don't stop now!" Kurz had spoken louder than he had intended, but it didn't seem that he had been overheard. The erotic noises deep in the unseen room were reaching a crescendo. Knowing how bad luck always seemed to befall his friend at the worst possible moment, he swore to guard that door with his life, no matter who might show up. An evil thought came to mind, causing him to grin a wicked grin. "I wish Tessa were here…."

Yes, wouldn't_ that_ be a hoot! He knew that the pretty little Captain had a big time crush on the clueless Sergeant. But, despite the fact that he had been rooting for Teletha Testarossa, Kaname Chidori had been the one to win Sousuke's affection, not to mention, by the sound of it, his youthful enthusiasm and unbelievable stamina.

"Hello, Kurz." That voice. It was familiar. But… but… but _how?_ It was Kaname. In the flesh. Standing in the corridor.

"Ka… na… may…." Kurz stood up, caught red handed. Then, it dawned on him. If Kaname was out here, _who_ was in the room with Sousuke? That sly dog! He chuckled. He was very fond of the Whispered girl, and didn't really wish her any misfortune. But, this situation was even better than he had first dreamed. How was the indestructible Sgt. Sousuke Sagara going to survive this one? Caught In Flagrante Delecto by his violently-tempered sweetheart! "It's good to see you again."

"Uh huh," Kaname smiled. Suddenly aware of some barely audible cries coming from behind the door Kurz had been leaning on, she blushed. Then, her eyes widened, as she put two and two together. "You know…_ this_ is Souske's room." She knocked, watching Kurz' face. That look was precious!

"Wh-… Wh-… What?" Kurz stood stiff, as if he had been struck on the head by a large mallet. Uncrumpling the tortured piece of paper he held in his hand, he cursed. Melissa had written out Sousuke's new apartment number. She must have been drunk at the time. The number had been hard to decipher.

"Kaname." Sousuke had opened the door, but not having heard his fellow soldier's voice, had no reason to look out into the hallway.

"I'll be right back," Kaname said to Sousuke. "Keep the door open for me." With that, she ran over to the other door, brushing past a stunned Kurz. An impish look in her eyes, she rang the door bell and then sped back into Sousuke's room.

"Shit." Kurz heard Sousuke's door close with a slam. That noise was followed by the sound of a tumbler lock in action, and the jingle of a chain being put in place.

"Who the Hell is it?" An angry voice came from inside the unknown occupant's room.

Kurz took off running.

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**END**


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